Perspective...

is something I have decided that I quickly lose sight of when I'm sick or in pain or hurt (for a shining example: see my entry right before this one where I did out-whined my 3 year old). Now that the antibiotics have kicked in and I don't feel like I have a knife stuck in the side of my throat I can see clearly again. I am glad it's Monday which is the opposite of most people. The weekend was good, and bad, kinda how it goes sometimes, but all in all I'm just glad to be out of pain and once again, really happy to be alive experiencing everything that comes my way (even if it makes me cry like certain events that made me weep yesterday....think of The Gift of the Magi story by O Henry gone awry). So, I see Monday as a fresh start- the way most people see the first day of the new year, I feel it a blessing to start a new week and leave any of the previous week's hardships in the dust.

When I think about people who are in constant pain and learn to handle it with a smile on their face (a real one), I am in total awe. Like so many of the young children I've been privileged to get to know this past year who have been assaulted by cancer- a nephew and a niece (not related) of high school friends. One of whom already lost his sweet young life to cancer and the other, a beautiful little girl who is still battling her fight. If they can smile through their pain then certainly I, as a grown up, can too.

Then you can take my grandmother for another example who I had a really great conversation with yesterday on the phone. Despite being in kidney failure and having recently fallen out of bed and being all bruised up, she shared the most wickedly funny stories with me with that same sense of humor that she has had for 85 years no matter what was thrown her way.

I'm grateful for the constant reminders from those who are so much stronger and braver than I am. They are the best teachers in the world....and boy do I have so much more learning to do. I'm learning that patience and perspective are two totally different things, I once upon a time believed because I was patient that's all that mattered, but am now realizing that keeping things positive during turmoil is what really counts. Having the patience of a Saint doesn't equate to happiness, but finding the meaning during trials does. Next time I get so sick I promise not to whine (cry, maybe).... I will hand all the whining off to my children to take care of (since they, as children are allowed).