This has definitely been one of those weeks...I am still sick and pretty much in my famous zombie mode today. But I still have a thought in my head and wanted to share it.
There is a popular quote floating around that I have seen so many times as of late that it's now permanently marked in the forefront of my mind.
It is:
"Come what may...and love it." - Joseph B. Wirthlin (attributed to his mother)
That seems very fitting to my life right now and really is something I'm going to apply to the rest of my days. No matter what comes, or what may lurk around the corner, whether it be good or bad, I am going to love it.
Just wanted to share another reminder to love this life for what it is even when it's not the way we would have ideally have it.
I hope you are having a good day wherever you are reading from...go out and enjoy your little corner of the world! I plan to do just that (as soon as I get better anyway)!
:-)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
"Ancient" Wisdom and Beauty
It's the Sabbath day today and as such, I'm reflecting (of course lately when am I not reflecting?)! Last night after another long day of feeling like a truck hit me from this cold virus, we decided to just pick up Chinese food for dinner from Shangri-La (not the mythical place of legand and lore, but the restaurant).
Shangri-La is in my old neighborhood. I drove past my high school on the way to pick it up and I was immediately taken back to my first year of high school at age 16. I was probably what one would have called a walking contradiction back then.
As a teenager, most of the time I looked totally opposite as to what I felt inside. I dressed in black, a lot of it, and wore Doc Marten boots. If people didn't know me I am certain they thought I was a depressed, suicidal teen. I wasn't....I just really liked the style and the music that went along with it. Flash forward to my senior year and I had relaxed a bit...I morphed more into the "granola" look which was probably a more natural fit for a girl who hails from California who would rather live on the beach and be barefoot all the time. I haven't changed much since then. That was June of 1994 (yes, part of me refuses to grow up).
I got stuck back in the mid 1990's for a while until we got home and sat down to eat. I should say I tried to eat but wasn't all that hungry since I cannot smell anything for the life of me which kills my appetite (not that it'll hurt me to skip a meal). After dinner, Mimi and I went for the fortune cookies (which she loves to just smash to death and throw away...the other kids tried to eat the crumbs). I found it interesting that the fortune that I got in my fortune cookie ended up reading the following:
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
After I read that I had to laugh to myself about the time I had just spent remembering all those high school insecurities. I started thinking about what looks and appearances actually mean. Are they important? Sure. Would I like to look better at times? Of course. But does how I look make me who I am or make you who you are? I spent so much time in high school wondering what people thought of me based on what I wore or how skinny I was, or wasn't. Even today, as a mom at age 33 I have a lot of those same insecurities. I have many girls who are my friends and who are in my family who I think of as supermodels (in fact, one actually is a supermodel)! But to me, what makes them beautiful is how loving they are, how much they care about me and are there for me.
I stopped and wondered why I can judge these girls on their outer beauty as well as their inner beauty but when it comes to myself, I only look at what is outside. I was reading Nie Nie Dialogues the other day and it dawned on me what real beauty is. It's so much more than skin deep, it is what radiates from one's soul.
When you got married, did you ever ask yourself if your spouse would still adore you if in an accident and didn't "look" like the person they were marrying? I neglected to spend a lot of time on that before I got married. More importantly than would your spouse still love you if your looks were gone may be the question of would you be able to see yourself as beautiful even without looks or fashion, or money to support it?
For my children, nothing is more important to me than developing their spirits. I want my girls to know that while beauty is fun and plays a role, it's not what should be the source of their happiness. For my son, I want him to learn that when he chooses a wife, to think about the kind of mother she will make, not just what he and his friends think about her looks. While I teach them these things I need to try to remind myself to practice what I preach.
Sunday's are so good for this kind of thing don't you think? Praying and pondering is good for the soul. I feel that it's only when the beauty inside matches or surpasses the beauty on the outside that one feels whole. I have a long way to go, but by the time I'm 35 I want to actually believe that my spirit is beautiful from within, regardless of how I look on the outside.
Anyone else with me?
Shangri-La is in my old neighborhood. I drove past my high school on the way to pick it up and I was immediately taken back to my first year of high school at age 16. I was probably what one would have called a walking contradiction back then.
As a teenager, most of the time I looked totally opposite as to what I felt inside. I dressed in black, a lot of it, and wore Doc Marten boots. If people didn't know me I am certain they thought I was a depressed, suicidal teen. I wasn't....I just really liked the style and the music that went along with it. Flash forward to my senior year and I had relaxed a bit...I morphed more into the "granola" look which was probably a more natural fit for a girl who hails from California who would rather live on the beach and be barefoot all the time. I haven't changed much since then. That was June of 1994 (yes, part of me refuses to grow up).
I got stuck back in the mid 1990's for a while until we got home and sat down to eat. I should say I tried to eat but wasn't all that hungry since I cannot smell anything for the life of me which kills my appetite (not that it'll hurt me to skip a meal). After dinner, Mimi and I went for the fortune cookies (which she loves to just smash to death and throw away...the other kids tried to eat the crumbs). I found it interesting that the fortune that I got in my fortune cookie ended up reading the following:
"The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
After I read that I had to laugh to myself about the time I had just spent remembering all those high school insecurities. I started thinking about what looks and appearances actually mean. Are they important? Sure. Would I like to look better at times? Of course. But does how I look make me who I am or make you who you are? I spent so much time in high school wondering what people thought of me based on what I wore or how skinny I was, or wasn't. Even today, as a mom at age 33 I have a lot of those same insecurities. I have many girls who are my friends and who are in my family who I think of as supermodels (in fact, one actually is a supermodel)! But to me, what makes them beautiful is how loving they are, how much they care about me and are there for me.
I stopped and wondered why I can judge these girls on their outer beauty as well as their inner beauty but when it comes to myself, I only look at what is outside. I was reading Nie Nie Dialogues the other day and it dawned on me what real beauty is. It's so much more than skin deep, it is what radiates from one's soul.
When you got married, did you ever ask yourself if your spouse would still adore you if in an accident and didn't "look" like the person they were marrying? I neglected to spend a lot of time on that before I got married. More importantly than would your spouse still love you if your looks were gone may be the question of would you be able to see yourself as beautiful even without looks or fashion, or money to support it?
For my children, nothing is more important to me than developing their spirits. I want my girls to know that while beauty is fun and plays a role, it's not what should be the source of their happiness. For my son, I want him to learn that when he chooses a wife, to think about the kind of mother she will make, not just what he and his friends think about her looks. While I teach them these things I need to try to remind myself to practice what I preach.
Sunday's are so good for this kind of thing don't you think? Praying and pondering is good for the soul. I feel that it's only when the beauty inside matches or surpasses the beauty on the outside that one feels whole. I have a long way to go, but by the time I'm 35 I want to actually believe that my spirit is beautiful from within, regardless of how I look on the outside.
Anyone else with me?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Breathe
I'm trying to keep breathing in all sorts of ways. Both literally and figuratively....but the topic I'll focus on here is in the literal sense of the meaning.
All of this week I've been sick with a horrible cold and respiratory virus- so have the kids. I can barely breath...my chest is tight and my nose is completely clogged. Right now I'm very drowsy on my various cold medicines and they (the kids) get out of school early today so I'm trying to keep myself from falling asleep. Writing always does the trick to help keep me awake so thought I'd just write down some various thoughts I've been having this morning.
I've been thinking about the minor miracles of life the past few days. One of which is over-the-counter medicine, especially fever reducers. Mimi woke up with a high fever of nearly 103 the other night and I myself have been running just as hot. Without this medication we would not be able to cope. I cannot say that my sinus medication, cough suppresant or anything else has worked, but the fever reducer has. Thank goodness!
The tought about modern day medicines led me to think about mothers of days gone by and how they must have felt when their children were ill like this- without anything to help them other than prayer and the passage of time. I think of the mothers on The Mayflower who must have been beside themselves as their small children grew ill aboard the boat for months on end. And all the Pioneer mothers who trekked from the east to the western side of the U.S. who had to take their small children with them- often times losing them to illness. These women must have experienced such worry and heartache. I am so grateful that when my babies wake up sick, I can just reach for a bottle of children's Tylenol.
Small miracles....something to be grateful for indeed. Here's to a healthy flu season for all (I'm hoping we are getting it out of the way early and will not experience it again until next year)!
:-)
All of this week I've been sick with a horrible cold and respiratory virus- so have the kids. I can barely breath...my chest is tight and my nose is completely clogged. Right now I'm very drowsy on my various cold medicines and they (the kids) get out of school early today so I'm trying to keep myself from falling asleep. Writing always does the trick to help keep me awake so thought I'd just write down some various thoughts I've been having this morning.
I've been thinking about the minor miracles of life the past few days. One of which is over-the-counter medicine, especially fever reducers. Mimi woke up with a high fever of nearly 103 the other night and I myself have been running just as hot. Without this medication we would not be able to cope. I cannot say that my sinus medication, cough suppresant or anything else has worked, but the fever reducer has. Thank goodness!
The tought about modern day medicines led me to think about mothers of days gone by and how they must have felt when their children were ill like this- without anything to help them other than prayer and the passage of time. I think of the mothers on The Mayflower who must have been beside themselves as their small children grew ill aboard the boat for months on end. And all the Pioneer mothers who trekked from the east to the western side of the U.S. who had to take their small children with them- often times losing them to illness. These women must have experienced such worry and heartache. I am so grateful that when my babies wake up sick, I can just reach for a bottle of children's Tylenol.
Small miracles....something to be grateful for indeed. Here's to a healthy flu season for all (I'm hoping we are getting it out of the way early and will not experience it again until next year)!
:-)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Journeys
The past month or so has been full of unexpected gifts, and as usual trials. Namely my beloved grandmother has taken a turn for the worst and will likely leave this world soon for the next one. I thought it would already happen, but we've been blessed with the gift of extra time.
The only comfort that I have concerning the situation is that I believe I will be with her again someday, in addition to the rest of my family. In my heart I believe families are forever.
The thing that scares me is that following her passing, I know my own life will change on many levels, some of which are probably unfathomable right now.
I found a quote today that I thought could apply to her journey along her way and my journey that I will have to take without her when she leaves me behind.
"One's destination is neer a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller
I know that when she's gone, she really won't be. I'll just have to look at it differently as in she will physically just not be here. And as for me and where I end up....that will take a new way of looking at things as well. I just hope I can continue to make her proud even from the great beyond.
Remember to hug your loved ones, life is always too short, even when you make it to your mid 80's.
The only comfort that I have concerning the situation is that I believe I will be with her again someday, in addition to the rest of my family. In my heart I believe families are forever.
The thing that scares me is that following her passing, I know my own life will change on many levels, some of which are probably unfathomable right now.
I found a quote today that I thought could apply to her journey along her way and my journey that I will have to take without her when she leaves me behind.
"One's destination is neer a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller
I know that when she's gone, she really won't be. I'll just have to look at it differently as in she will physically just not be here. And as for me and where I end up....that will take a new way of looking at things as well. I just hope I can continue to make her proud even from the great beyond.
Remember to hug your loved ones, life is always too short, even when you make it to your mid 80's.
Friday, September 4, 2009
8 Weeks
Obviously it's been a while since I've posted (about 8 weeks) and there are many good reasons for it.
My lovely daughter Mimi made me a handmade card the other night. It melted my heart and showed a 9 year old little girl who is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I wish that she didn't have to be that way....that she could just be carefree and not notice that her mommy has a lot on her plate once in a while. But at the same time, I feel overjoyed that she has turned in to an empathetic, caring, loving child who thinks of others.
I will add a photo to show the adorable illustrations she made later but inside, it reads:
All I can add is that life has a way of really pulling the rug out from under one's feet at times. But after times like this I always learn something and appreciate the water for my soul....a challenge does for the spirit what water does for a plant.
Trials can do two things. They can either bring growth and better understanding of ways to make ourselves and those around us better. Or, than can crush your spirit completely. It's a choice to react one way or the other. Better or bitter is how I'm starting to look at it.
I've learned the past few months that as long as you have your health, your life, your faith, friends, family and chances for better tomorrows then you have everything you need....at least for me, that's all I need. I guess it's a lesson I'd rather learn sooner rather than later. Thank you to those in my life who shelter me during the storms.
The road ahead of me is a long one, but I'm so happy to still be on the road traveling it, having opportunites make things better along the way.
My lovely daughter Mimi made me a handmade card the other night. It melted my heart and showed a 9 year old little girl who is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I wish that she didn't have to be that way....that she could just be carefree and not notice that her mommy has a lot on her plate once in a while. But at the same time, I feel overjoyed that she has turned in to an empathetic, caring, loving child who thinks of others.
I will add a photo to show the adorable illustrations she made later but inside, it reads:
"Mommy:
You have been through so much.
I love you so much.
So this card is for you, and only you, to make your life better.
It's been hard.
I love you.
From Mimi"
All I can add is that life has a way of really pulling the rug out from under one's feet at times. But after times like this I always learn something and appreciate the water for my soul....a challenge does for the spirit what water does for a plant.
Trials can do two things. They can either bring growth and better understanding of ways to make ourselves and those around us better. Or, than can crush your spirit completely. It's a choice to react one way or the other. Better or bitter is how I'm starting to look at it.
I've learned the past few months that as long as you have your health, your life, your faith, friends, family and chances for better tomorrows then you have everything you need....at least for me, that's all I need. I guess it's a lesson I'd rather learn sooner rather than later. Thank you to those in my life who shelter me during the storms.
The road ahead of me is a long one, but I'm so happy to still be on the road traveling it, having opportunites make things better along the way.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Beautiful Day
Today has been beautiful for many reasons. Mainly, I have friends and a the beauty of nature to thank for that. Look at the treats Mother Nature gave me this morning when I stepped out my back door that leads to my garden.... 
What a beautiful thing to wake up to! Thank you Mother Nature for the sunflowers, yellow crookneck squash, Roma tomatoes, cabbage, squash blossom and butternut squash.
Also, you'll notice...my blog is beautiful again. A big thank you to Lyndsay (again)! She had me test adding an html code widget to set my background (rather than her logging into my blog to fix things) to see if it worked and wha-la, it worked perfectly. Please visit her new site HERE.....if you are looking for someone to beautify your blog, she's your girl!
There are certain days when one would be remiss to not mention certain things or people that need to be mentioned. So today I hope you won't mind me highlighting a friend (I hope she won't mind for that matter)!
Also, you'll notice...my blog is beautiful again. A big thank you to Lyndsay (again)! She had me test adding an html code widget to set my background (rather than her logging into my blog to fix things) to see if it worked and wha-la, it worked perfectly. Please visit her new site HERE.....if you are looking for someone to beautify your blog, she's your girl!
There are certain days when one would be remiss to not mention certain things or people that need to be mentioned. So today I hope you won't mind me highlighting a friend (I hope she won't mind for that matter)!
T has been a friend of mine for as long as I can remember (we're talking elementary school here so 20 plus years). We recently reconnected thanks Facebook (where else)?
Today her son would have turned 18. She lost him a few years ago due to circumstances I'm not quite clear about. What I do know for certain is that it was beyond tragic, as any loss would be for a mother. He was a beautiful boy with his mother's eyes.
I don't know how she's getting through it, but she is. She's as strong and as beautiful as she was when I met her as a spunky girl at Sirrine Elementary School in the late 1980's. Some people just have that spark- that fire inside that keeps them going when others would just give up. She's one of those people, an inspiration in my book.
Tonight I feel really grateful for my friends and family. What a blessing it is to learn that it's people, not things, that make life happy (and yes, I know some people have the ability to make life not happy...but you know what I mean, the people who build you up, who love you and support you).
The people in my life mean more to me than gold...the old friends, the new, the locals and those across the sea, the chosen family, the blood family, the besties, the sisters, the casual ones, the old school friends, my church friends, and of course blogger friends....the lot of you. ThAnK YoU for making my often rocky, bumpy (and of course hilly) life much more joyful than it would be without you.
Remember: today is a gift...that's why the call it the present (I know, I know, feel free to insert an eye-roll at that catch phrase, I can see some of you now....but, it's true).
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Ooops
The kids just deleted the background here on my blog- so lovingly designed (for free, on her own time as a gift to me) by my friend Lyndsay Johnson. Sorry Lyndsay! Don't worry about repairing it- I just didn't want you to think I went in and got rid of anything on purpose.
I saw the opportunity to have a long talk with them about other people's work and not ruining it- whether on the computer or in the classroom. I guess they were messing around with the templates and changed it to Minima Stretch....I put it back on normal Minima but that didn't seem to do anything different. Eek.
Thank goodness the header with wise Mr. Owl is safe (my favourite part)! It's still great with just a white background....guess this goes to show why a 9 year old and 6 year old should not be allowed to touch the laptop (guess I need to start hiding it when I go outside to hang up laundry)! The laptop is already missing half of it's keys so guess I should be happy they didn't totally break it.
The kiddos are so bored without school that they are starting to get into everything. I can't blame them-I go a bit stir crazy myself being stuck inside all day. I am surprised they haven't done anything more destructive to tell you the truth.
I think I'll go turn the sprinklers on now and just let them run around all day. In AZ it's the only way to play outdoors on a hot summer day. Hope you all enjoy your days today- whatever you do!
HiLy
I saw the opportunity to have a long talk with them about other people's work and not ruining it- whether on the computer or in the classroom. I guess they were messing around with the templates and changed it to Minima Stretch....I put it back on normal Minima but that didn't seem to do anything different. Eek.
Thank goodness the header with wise Mr. Owl is safe (my favourite part)! It's still great with just a white background....guess this goes to show why a 9 year old and 6 year old should not be allowed to touch the laptop (guess I need to start hiding it when I go outside to hang up laundry)! The laptop is already missing half of it's keys so guess I should be happy they didn't totally break it.
The kiddos are so bored without school that they are starting to get into everything. I can't blame them-I go a bit stir crazy myself being stuck inside all day. I am surprised they haven't done anything more destructive to tell you the truth.
I think I'll go turn the sprinklers on now and just let them run around all day. In AZ it's the only way to play outdoors on a hot summer day. Hope you all enjoy your days today- whatever you do!
HiLy
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