Life has been chaotic for a couple of years but am still breathing so cannot complain really. I took a long break from writing on purpose, sometimes it good to "get lost". Everything has been turned upside down since I last wrote. I don't want to bore anything with details but to summarize:
I lost my dream home (which was actually falling apart in more ways than one but I loved it so much), lost almost everything in that home, lost myself when someone else flew away from me, found myself again (a bit), moved countries to seek answers to some of life's biggest questions, have seen my children grow up from needy, little "babies" into semi-independent, spirited adolescents in a quick blur; I feel myself growing old and feel powerless to stop it (though am grateful for it because I also have lost dear friends who aren't even here to complain about life with me anymore).
Everything I know or thought I knew has been questioned & turned inside out. For a long time, I have felt like a human, female version of Humpty Dumpty. Luckily though, one thing that has not cracked is the belief that eventually, everything will be put together again in it's own time, some way, somehow.
Turbulance rips things apart but I've learned (even while being thrown up, down, left and right) that some things about me are just immoveable. The things I believe in, my anchors, are the same: love, true friendship, humanity and most of all, my faith. Because of my belief in these things, I have had a few miracles occur recently; life hasn't been ALL been negative. As my grandmother used to sing in one of her favorite songs:
- Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side,
- Keep on the sunny side of life;
- It will help us ev'ry day, it will brighten all the way,
- If we keep on the sunny side of life."
Onwards & upwards..... xo
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